Why is it so difficult to do a thing we love, a thing we are good at, even? Why would we—okay, why would I—rather do laundry or clean the toilet or even dust baseboards, than sit at the computer to write?
This problem—call it writer’s block if you wish—has nagged at me all of last year, culminating in a December filled with home renovations, house guests and Christmas celebrations, thus offering as many legitimate excuses as needed to keep me from my writing.
Come the new year, I knew I needed to buckle down, but it wasn’t happening. Friends and acquaintances kept asking what I was working on and I would whine about being stymied, uncertain, afraid of what it might take to move ahead. My heart was not in it.
I “prayed about it,” since I believe in the power of prayer and the One to whom I offer said prayers, but how does one hear from God? I have never heard his audible voice. Have never seen his writing on the wall or in the clouds. When God tries to break through my fear or cynicism or apathy, he sometimes nudges, or gives me the proverbial kick-in-the-pants. But there had been nothing, no matter how hard I looked for it.
After weeks and months of frustration, I was about to hear from Him…
Last evening my dear hubby gave me a pep talk, pointing out that I had not let the fear of new things stop me before, so why was I hiding behind it now? Hmm, a nudge.
This morning, my husband and I shared a devotional thought focused on James 5:16, you know the one about the fervent prayer of a righteous man availing much. Did I qualify? In my helplessness I had prayed about my problem, if not fervently, then at least sincerely. I’m nowhere near perfect, but as a redeemed sinner, I have received Christ’s righteousness. Yes. Another nudge, this one scripturally based.
Then I checked my Facebook, because that’s one of the easiest ways to procrastinate, and a writer friend had posted something like this: “The world needs your gifts, not your excuses.” (Quote by Jeff Goins, my translation.) Okay, that was the kick-in-the-pants I needed.
This morning’s devotional had included the words of Ole Hallesby: “Prayer and helplessness are inseparable. Only those who are helpless can truly pray…your helplessness is your prayer.” In my helplessness, the Lord reached down to whisper, “Hey Kid, I love you just as you are, I care about you and about what I want you to do, and I’ll help you make it happen. Trust me.” How amazing is that? Really!
So here we go, Lord. Moving forward to write, to create, to learn, to ask, to risk. To give back to you what you’ve given me.