The Reluctant Caregiver is a realistic but inspiring non-fiction book by Canadian author, Bobbi Junior.
In the midst of work, family, and church and community involvement, Bobbi tells of her journey with her mother through the onset of dementia. This is difficult enough, but since theirs has never been a close relationship, the tension and stress can be exhausting. How do you help someone who doesn’t want your help?
This book is easy to read because it’s a story. But more than that, it is a chronicle of Bobbi’s determination to let go of her own agenda for her mom, and turn it all over to the Lord Jesus. Her recorded prayers and thoughts offer gentle encouragement to the weary soul.
At times, the story of Bobbi’s journey with her mom is very sad. When her mother becomes confused, she is difficult to understand. What does she mean when she says, “I just don’t know. Anyway, here too. I just don’t.” Or when she declares that there are people living in her house at night. Or when “the people” are going to come for the rent. She has forgotten that she owns her home.
The hardest parts for me to read were the mother’s outbursts, suspicions and accusations flung at Bobbi and her brother, when they were sacrificing time, energy and money to help her.
I found this book moving in its honesty about life. Sometimes we face obstacles that keep piling up, seemingly insurmountable. However, I also found it immensely encouraging that Jesus knows every step, and His timing is impeccable. If we allow Him to lead in our lives, He will work everything out for the best.
I highly recommend this book to anyone struggling to help a parent or elder who suffers with dementia or Alzheimers, and especially to those of the sandwich generation who already have more than enough challenges with children and jobs.
If only for Bobbi’s heartfelt prayers and talks with God, this book is a blessing. Add the story of her relationship with her mother and it’s also an invaluable resource.
Take a look at Bobbi’s website for more.
I agree — a worthwhile read, with good take-away.
Absolutely, Janet. This book is such a great resource.
Janice, Thanks so much for the shout-out! Such an encouragement. Blessings.
This book is worth a shout-out, Bobbi. Thank you for writing it, for living it, and for following God’s lead in your life.
Thanks, Janice, for this book review, which is a timely reminder for me that I can learn from Bobbi’s example of praying for another person and helping that loved one without getting in God’s way. I must remake the decision to turn my will and my life over to God, who is the author and finisher of my life and the life of my loved one who struggles. This is the only way to regain my sanity when I face seemingly insurmountable odds. Thanks to both you and Bobbi on this one, Janice.
Yes, Sharon. Bobbi’s example, and the fact that she took the time to write it down in book form, is an inspiration to us all.